1. |
Songs of Dejection
01:48
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I don’t know where to go from here
my worst nightmare, came to realize my fears
or did I manifest it
now I’m sitting here writing songs of dejection
I’m battling depression
its nothing new to me
I’m used to being discarded my heart aint what it used to be
all you need is love is what they say but that aint true you see
cuz most of it is fake I aint have one that stayed true to me
maybe I’m the problem
too much baggage coming through with me
maybe in another fuckin life it’ll be just you and me
if not, you can say some kind words at my eulogy
inside I feel nothing when I die is when I’m truly free
songs of dejection
Blessing in disguise the most high always testing
to be honest I’m getting sick and fucking tired of these lessons
and you can train yourself to hate me
that don’t change the truth though baby
when thinking ‘bout me moving on is enough to drive you crazy
its hard to realize what you got ‘til it’s gone
now that I’m gone, I’ve realized I’m probably better off alone
its just the songs of dejection
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2. |
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It didn’t have to be this way
Its something that I’ll never understand
I suffered through the years
And shed so many tears
I don’t know what else I can say
Should I put a smile on my face and pretend to be ok
I never thought it’d end this way
And now that it has I don’t think I’ll ever be ok
I tried so many ways and still I cant escape the pain
I told you that I loved you and you said you felt the same
But clearly that’s a lie
You would have never done them things
But you did and I’ll never be the same
I gave you everything
It’s a shame that you took it all for granted
Creeping behind my back is not an accident you plan it
And that right there shows me that you never cared
And for that type of pain one can never be prepared
So tell why I’m worried about you
I’m hurting more knowing you’re hurting too
I don’t expect you to understand cuz you’re selfish
And I know that I meant nothing to you
Shit its true
They say the sun comes out after the rain
So I hope one day I feel joy instead of pain
But its not likely
Even though I usually do the right thing
Still trapped in the eye of the storm
Thunder and lightning
But I keep on pushing
Tryna find some closure
Realizing what’s really important as I get older
Understand
You can be the best version of a man
And still get left out in the rain like you didn’t mean a thing
They’ll come and tell you they’re sorry
But it doesn’t mean a thing
The damage been done from the drama that you bring
That extra baggage you carry
It could have been a ring
You’re your own worst enemy
Sabotage everything
So tell me what I’m supposed to do
When I cant picture my life without you
I guess its just a memory
Too bad you were nothing you pretended to be
What a shame
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3. |
I Don't Know
02:23
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I know my heart will heal eventually
But its hard
When 5 minutes feels like a century
And I’m scarred
Emotionally and mentally
I don’t know if you know what you meant to me
I suppose it don’t matter
My whole soul is shattered and so cold and battered
I know this allows me to grow and more after
But right now I cant crack a smile and no laughter
Back to back I smoked a pack but I left a half in the wrapper
Im just trying to get myself through the day
What can I say
Wondering just how long I’ll be feeling this way
Cuz it feels like eternity
I’m one with the suffering
I used to see the future now my whole life is buffering
I guess I have no choice but to move on to other things
Sometimes I cant breathe feels like Im smothering
Im wondering if I’ll ever be able to be in love again
Or will I die alone cuz I never learn to trust again
I don’t know
I wonder what I ever did to deserve this
You told me that I always treated you perfect
Then turned around and made me feel worthless
To be honest I still think about our first kiss
You broke the promise when you said you wouldn’t treat me this way
That’s a lie
When you told me you was leaving that day
Felt like I died
On the inside, I guess Im really not surprised
We talked about this very situation many times
And you would say some perfect lies to help ease my mind
Cant say Im insecure if my intuition was right
Now Im getting high
And drowning in a bottle
Dying more and more each day
Don’t give a fuck about tomorrow
I know that it could only get better
But really its whatever I’m used to the bad weather
Its on to my next endeavor
My next forever
I don’t know who she is but I’ll bet that she treats me better
Here’s a letter
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4. |
I Remember
03:33
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All the things you did
Heavy on my mind
Days just float away
I keep wasting time
I remember
I remember what you did to me
I remember
But I cannot forget to live for me
She’s like Medusa turned my heart to stone
But when she calls I still pick up the phone
I can’t leave her alone
I can tell by her tone she don’t feel safe no more
And she worries about me
It ain’t her place no more
Wishing we could go back in time
Wishing that this shit was fuckin all in my mind
Cuz it’s been weighing on me heavily
So much it’s like I never sleep
You used to give me life
Now I feel like you’ll be the death of me
Cold game no referee
I gave ‘til nothings left of me
Shiiit
I still wish I had you next to me
What happens next only time will tell
So until we meet again I’ll be wishing you well
Love.
I grind to escape my trouble
Dive deep just to fade the devil
Even the ones that love you will watch you crumble
They will give you nothing
But knock your hustle
So I keep my rage on muscle
You wont see me buckle
Just know I’m winning if you see me struggle
The love the hate
Get sold as a bundle
They go on dates and move like a couple
So I take both with a grain of salt
They’ll play you soft
If you don’t play your part
You’ll break apart
With that guarded heart
That rebirth is a Godly spark
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5. |
Picture Me Rollin
03:03
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Picture me rollin
In the whip smoking
Keep this bitch cloudy like early mornings in Oakland
This chick had me open
Ended up heart broken
I guess that’s what I get for trusting women mixing potions
With crystals and the stones
We was always getting blown
I guess I should have known cuz she was always on her phone
But I held her down for years
You know how the story goes
Can’t give her a happy home if she’s unhappy in her soul
For me it’s time to go
Like peace, adios
We was talking when I wrote this but by now I’m probably ghost
Shit I used to do the most
Now I’m somewhere on the coast
Blowing smoke out my nose
Middle fingers to them hoes
Ain’t got no time for bullshit while I’m out here getting dough
You was creeping on the low
Now you can pack your bags and go
Shiiit
I still wonder why it happened
I’m a hopeless romantic and it’s oh so tragic.
This music made more enemies than I did friends to keep it real
I suffered more Ls than I did wins fuck how you feel
as the world spins collect my thoughts
devil will start
with distractions leave you in the dark
I'm living through art
change ya life blackman what you striving to be
feelin like it's 96 and all eyes on me
ces burning the herb
I am Fred Hampton with words
I if kill you I am killing Me what kind of master you serve
deal with stress you done had it
seeking success with bad habits
hiding guarding ya status
thinking its showtime like magic
remember you reap what you sew
pay that debt that owe
people die everyday learn ya lessons and grow
it's Mr boss for the win I play no games till the end
steady focused on inns
I see it clear through the lens
and lord knows that we living in sin
In the mean time picture me rollin In that 500 benz
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6. |
Goodbye
02:29
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Its times like these
I thank God I got rhymes like these
I had days I didn’t sleep
Several days I didn’t eat
This shit is way deep
Made my own music to heal to
Tryna move forward
Still looking in the rear view
Its too difficult to steer through
I guess its time to say goodbye to the real you
And I know this shit kills you
I understand
Its the same way I feel too
But really what are we doing
Tryna hold on to something that’s been ruined
There’s no coming back
So I guess we should keep it moving
But I feel like I lost two people when losing you
And honestly right now
I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing
Cant do nothing without the thought of you
And I’d be fronting if I said I was cool
I used to go to work
You’d drop the kids off at school
And I’d spend every minute waiting to come back to you
You was just a fool in love
Nah I’m really just a fool
People tell me I should leave you alone
They’re probably right so its time I let you go
Its so hard dog I tried
I cant believe these words are coming out my mouth love
Goodbye
Things just aint been the same
You keep on playing games
Know what I’ve got to do
Gotta say goodbye
Gotta say goodbye to you
You don’t pick up the phone
I’m at home all alone
Know what I got to do
Gotta say goodbye
Gotta say goodbye to you
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7. |
Will You Remember
02:47
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Will you remember
Will you remember me
Will you remember
When my body sets me free
Will you remember
Will you remember me
When my body sets me free
I hope you don’t forget the good times
Eyes like the moon and a smile like the sunshine
Consumed my soul and my heart was no longer mine
You were my breath when I breathe now I feel like I’m dying
I spend most the time crying
Most people don’t survive in the state of mind that I’m in
It wasn’t what you did but how you did it and I’m trying
To shake this fucking feeling but I can’t escape the time
I can’t erase my mind
I find myself closer to the end of the line
With every single rhyme
I’m about to lose my mind
Tip toeing on the ledge
Still haunted by every fucking word that you said
Can’t help myself from thinking I’ll feel better when I’m dead
Better that than an old bitter man alone instead
Cold spot in my bed where you used to rest your head
Now I’m the guy in the bar tryna drink himself to death.
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8. |
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I know my heart will heal eventually
But its hard
When 5 minutes feels like a century
And I’m scarred
Emotionally and mentally
I don’t know if you know what you meant to me
I suppose it don’t matter
My whole soul is shattered and so cold and battered
I know this allows me to grow and more after
But right now I cant crack a smile and no laughter
Back to back I smoked a pack but I left a half in the wrapper
Im just trying to get myself through the day
What can I say
Wondering just how long I’ll be feeling this way
Cuz it feels like eternity
I’m one with the suffering
I used to see the future now my whole life is buffering
I guess I have no choice but to move on to other things
Sometimes I cant breathe feels like Im smothering
Im wondering if I’ll ever be able to be in love again
Or will I die alone cuz I never learn to trust again
I don’t know
I wonder what I ever did to deserve this
You told me that I always treated you perfect
Then turned around and made me feel worthless
To be honest I still think about our first kiss
You broke the promise when you said you wouldn’t treat me this way
That’s a lie
When you told me you was leaving that day
Felt like I died
On the inside, I guess Im really not surprised
We talked about this very situation many times
And you would say some perfect lies to help ease my mind
Cant say Im insecure if my intuition was right
Now Im getting high
And drowning in a bottle
Dying more and more each day
Don’t give a fuck about tomorrow
I know that it could only get better
But really its whatever I’m used to the bad weather
Its on to my next endeavor
My next forever
I don’t know who she is but I’ll bet that she treats me better
Here’s a letter
|
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9. |
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Will you remember
Will you remember me
Will you remember
When my body sets me free
Will you remember
Will you remember me
When my body sets me free
I hope you don’t forget the good times
Eyes like the moon and a smile like the sunshine
Consumed my soul and my heart was no longer mine
You were my breath when I breathe now I feel like I’m dying
I spend most the time crying
Most people don’t survive in the state of mind that I’m in
It wasn’t what you did but how you did it and I’m trying
To shake this fucking feeling but I can’t escape the time
I can’t erase my mind
I find myself closer to the end of the line
With every single rhyme
I’m about to lose my mind
Tip toeing on the ledge
Still haunted by every fucking word that you said
Can’t help myself from thinking I’ll feel better when I’m dead
Better that than an old bitter man alone instead
Cold spot in my bed where you used to rest your head
Now I’m the guy in the bar tryna drink himself to death
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The Blunt Brothers California
Inland Empire veteran hip hop group, The Blunt Brothers. Est. 2003
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